The desk my Taiwanese laptop is sitting on was made in China. My phone is also Taiwanese. My watch is Japanese, I suppose because I can’t afford a Swiss-made watch. My shirt was made in Haiti (although I guess that makes me a good person.) Looking around the office I see books printed in Canada and Mexico and pens from Japan. There’s not much around here that was made in the good ol’ US of A.

The news, the internet, my email – they all tell me I should be pissed about this. A true American drives an American car, watches baseball, loves their mother (how the fuck did America co-opt that?), loves them some NASCAR, and hates anything made outside of the US. Oh, they buy it, they buy every bit of it – but they hate it. Otherwise they wouldn’t be a good American.

I hear they’re building a new superhighway from Canada to Mexico. It’ll cut right through America! GASP! People tell me to be very upset about this, although I’m still waiting to hear exactly why. I don’t mean this vague bullshit, “Well… the borders!” What about them?

I live in the Commonwealth of Virginia. Nobody tells me to boycott things made in North Carolina. Why is it okay for my to get furniture from North Carolina (drastically more expensive furniture) but it’s just wrong to get it from China? Why am I supposed to hate people from China? Why do you?

I rarely define myself as an American. I see no value in defining myself in such terms. At least no more than I define myself as a Virginian, or a resident of Quinton, VA. Us Quintonites – we gotta watch each other’s backs or those bastards from Providence Forge are going to move in our turf! I like the hardware store in Providence 1000x better than the one in Quinton, but shopping there might imply that I hate my mother.

Or does that only apply to International borders? And is that only international borders as they are currently drawn?

I have friends from all over the world. I’m a citizen of Earth. I’m human being. I’m a citizen of the Internet.

If you’re reading this and you disagree, you’re a hypocrite. Shut off your Chinese computer and go join a militia.