You can really take a ham sandwich to the next level by replacing the bread with waffles.
I’ve decided I no longer recognize jelly flavors other than strawberry.
And speaking of strawberry – strawberry is a specific thing. Don’t lie to me and tell your candy is strawberry flavored just because it’s red. I’d rather you just told me the flavor is “Red.”
“Pear” used to be a shape, as well as a fruit. Then these Asian pears starting popping up in the local supermarket produce section. They’re apple shaped. Of course the name “Chinese Apple” was already taken by the Pomegranate. Crafty Asians.
John Hodgman (AKA “PC”) earns a living publishing books of trivia entirely made up by John Hodgman. How does that make you feel about what you do for a living?
That was like 5 twitter posts for the price of one.