Menus, Confusion

Ever been the Cheesecake Factory?  I haven’t been in a couple of years (I’m not even sure there’s one around here,) but there are three things about the Cheesecake Factory that stand out in my memory – 1) surprisingly good steak, 2) surprisingly mediocre cheesecake, and 3) a terribly long menu.  The menu goes on for pages and pages. Any one page could service an entire restaurant. I think I even remember advertisements in the menu.

Long menus annoy me.  The Cheesecake Factory’s menu infuriates me. Five Guys Burgers and Fries, on the other hand, is menu perfection.  They make Burgers, Fries, Hot dogs, and Grilled Cheese.  Ordering from the 5 Guys menu is a joy.  Ordering from the Cheesecake Factory’s menu makes me want to hurt people.

Today I stopped by our local small town BBQ joint.  I walked in and was greeted by a couple of women behind the counter.  As I stood there staring at the menu on the wall one of them asked what I wanted.  I continued staring at the sign, but all a saw was blob of words.  Nothing was gelling into a coherent thought.

Finally I said, “I don’t know, I don’t understand what you have.”  She said, “Platters and sandwiches. Chicken, beef, or pork.”

Ah! Perfectly clear.  In just 7 words.  I looked back at the sign and tried to independently figure out from the sign that they offer “Platters and sandwiches. Chicken, beef, or pork.”  Nothing.  The sign still just seemed like a blob of words to me.

I said, “Platter, pork.”

She said, “There’s a sign on the wall around the corner that explains the sauces.”

My head exploded.

Published by Brian

Grappling sometimes, but mostly just trying to get others to grapple.

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  1. Funny story!

    There is a Cheesecake Factory at Short Pump. I always thought the Cheesecake was just OK. When that is the draw to the restaurant, then it better be AMAZING.

    There are so many places in NY that have good cheesecake. Junior’s in Brooklyn, and the Cranegie Deli in the city co to mind.

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