Last July 4th as I was sitting on the balcony at my aunt and uncle’s house watching the fireworks over the Chesapeake Bay I started thinking about holidays.  I ran through the ones I could remember and pretty quickly concluded that July 4th is my favorite holiday.

Jan 1 – New Year’s Day – Happy birthday, calendar year. We did it again.  An apple drops in Times Square, which is really odd if you think about it.  Dick Clark doesn’t get a year older. People get hammered, then drive home.  Let’s do this again next year.

Jan 19 – Martin Luther King Day – Bring back Lee-Jackson-King Day.  It was much more inclusive.

Feb 14 – Valentine’s Day – This is great if you’re in the card, restaurant, or flowers business.  It’s a total BS holiday, like mother’s day.

Feb 16 – Presidents’ Day – What is it, Washington’s birthday? Lincoln’s birthday? Both? Neither? Whatever.  There’s no fireworks.  I think only car dealerships celebrate this.

Apr 12 – Easter Sunday – I do try to make it a point to eat the head of a chocolate bunny on the first Sunday after the full moon following the vernal equinox.

May 16 – Armed Forces Day – I… Uh… I didn’t even know about this one.  How is this different than Veterans Day?

May 25 – Memorial Day – I don’t even know what this is.  We’re supposed to remember something, I assume.

Jul 4 – Independence Day – At the beach with family and friends, food and drink, then stuff explodes!

Sep 7 – Labor Day – Another mystery holiday to me.  What is this?  Everyone doesn’t do work in celebration of working? Well I’m unemployed, so this holiday can eff itself.

Oct 12 – Columbus Day – Having mostly grown up in Virginia, I didn’t get to “celebrate” this much.  To Italian Catholics this is a big deal in some odd way.  There are parades up north.  I think there are sales, but this is pretty much another day that does nothing for me.

Oct 31 – Halloween – This is a kids holiday and there’s nothing about it I like. I don’t like the colors, I don’t like kids, I don’t like costumes, I don’t like the adults acting like kids, I don’t like people knocking on the door.

Nov 11- Veterans Day – I’ve never been invited to a Veterans Day party.

Nov 26 – Thanksgiving Day – Now here’s another one I actually do like.  Insane amounts of food, time with the family, a road trip, and deer hunting.

Dec 25 – Christmas Day – Check Here to Opt Out:

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