Last July 4th as I was sitting on the balcony at my aunt and uncle’s house watching the fireworks over the Chesapeake Bay I started thinking about holidays. I ran through the ones I could remember and pretty quickly concluded that July 4th is my favorite holiday.
Jan 1 – New Year’s Day – Happy birthday, calendar year. We did it again. An apple drops in Times Square, which is really odd if you think about it. Dick Clark doesn’t get a year older. People get hammered, then drive home. Let’s do this again next year.
Jan 19 – Martin Luther King Day – Bring back Lee-Jackson-King Day. It was much more inclusive.
Feb 14 – Valentine’s Day – This is great if you’re in the card, restaurant, or flowers business. It’s a total BS holiday, like mother’s day.
Feb 16 – Presidents’ Day – What is it, Washington’s birthday? Lincoln’s birthday? Both? Neither? Whatever. There’s no fireworks. I think only car dealerships celebrate this.
Apr 12 – Easter Sunday – I do try to make it a point to eat the head of a chocolate bunny on the first Sunday after the full moon following the vernal equinox.
May 16 – Armed Forces Day – I… Uh… I didn’t even know about this one. How is this different than Veterans Day?
May 25 – Memorial Day – I don’t even know what this is. We’re supposed to remember something, I assume.
Jul 4 – Independence Day – At the beach with family and friends, food and drink, then stuff explodes!
Sep 7 – Labor Day – Another mystery holiday to me. What is this? Everyone doesn’t do work in celebration of working? Well I’m unemployed, so this holiday can eff itself.
Oct 12 – Columbus Day – Having mostly grown up in Virginia, I didn’t get to “celebrate” this much. To Italian Catholics this is a big deal in some odd way. There are parades up north. I think there are sales, but this is pretty much another day that does nothing for me.
Oct 31 – Halloween – This is a kids holiday and there’s nothing about it I like. I don’t like the colors, I don’t like kids, I don’t like costumes, I don’t like the adults acting like kids, I don’t like people knocking on the door.
Nov 11- Veterans Day – I’ve never been invited to a Veterans Day party.
Nov 26 – Thanksgiving Day – Now here’s another one I actually do like. Insane amounts of food, time with the family, a road trip, and deer hunting.
|Dec 25 – Christmas Day – Check Here to Opt Out:|